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The author of this mock review collages together a Harper’s Magazine feature article on David Tudor, and includes a score reproduction, commentary on Tudor’s work, information about the performance, and a note about the virtues of Photostat-based typography. Though he seems not to have attended the concert, the writer’s observations about Tudor’s work (presumably based on the Harper’s article) exemplify the tendency of middlebrow critics to engage in their own armchair philosophizing about the upending of traditional ontologies of music. The author calls Tudor’s performance an indeterminate “thing,” and compares experimental notation to a tradition of formalized diagraming that is more familiar but equally complex—a football playbook.