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Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 08:41:17 EDT
Subject: Re: <3 <3 <3 <3
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In a message dated 9/12/99 6:27:45 PM Central Daylight Time, Divin Dncr
<< INSTALLING LOVE
Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to
install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is
it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite
LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you
have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs
prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do
this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have
been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to
begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. it means that the LOVE
program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your
HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but In
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them
to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need
delete SELFCRITICIZE.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM,
PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it
from here. One more thing before I go...
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they
will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.