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----- Original Message -----
From: Archie McPhee Information Central <archie>
Sent: Friday, September 03, 1999 3:33 PM
Subject: Do you love me? Do you, Surfer Girl?
> TONGUE TWISTER CONTEST TESTS TWISTER'S TONGUE
> Oil up your tongue and prepare for this month's McPhee contest. All you
> need to do is write a mind-bogglingly difficult tongue twister that
> includes at least three products and submit it to our wise and all-seeing
> panel of non-celebrity judges. The best one wins a bevy of tongue related
> SURFER BOB, MEET SURFER GIRL
> You know and love Surfer Bob, but not all surfers are macho men. Now the
> feminine side of gnarly is available to surf your dashboard in style.
> Don't tell Bob, but in a contest between him and her, we think she might
> be the better surfer.
> SATAN IS MY CO-PILOT
> >From the tip of his pointy horns to his well-polished saddle shoes, this
> El Diablo nodder is one stylish little devil. His oversized head winks and
> nods as he shows off his snazzy blue suit. His buddy Bone Daddy has a
> similar body, but a huge nodding skull head rests on his shoulders. Check
> these guys out, no '74 Chevy Impala is complete without them.
> NEW PEZ STUFF
> Another pair of excellent nodders, these Pez dispenser nodders belong on
> the dashboard and computer of every true Pez fan. They are larger versions
> of the old boy and girl Pez dispensers. These are extremely detailed and
> very realistic. The only difference between these and real dispensers is
> that instead of dispensing candy, their heads just kinda jiggle.
> DON'T GET A SWELL HEAD
> What do you get for a person with a big head? How about a pair of shrunken
> heads? These hollow plastic shrunken heads look great hanging everywhere.
> Get one for your psychiatrist and then wait for the laughs. One head has a
> huge Fu-Manchu mustache; the other is the shrunken head of a blonde Valley
> Girl. Do you need them? Fer shure.
> GOT MCPHEE?
> Another classic McPhee T-shirt. This one was a WWII propaganda poster that
> expounded on the many virtues of milk. Now, through the magic of computers
> and other mysterious technology, McPhee has replaced milk. Just look at
> CULT MISSION: This month's mission is to use a series of affirmations to
> improve the quality of your life. Look at yourself in the mirror and take
> a deep breath. Say loudly to yourself, "I am a successful dynamic
> proactive multi-tasker. I will use my proactive dynamics to make Archie
> McPhee the most powerful presence on the internet. " Then create an image
> of yourself opening a box from Archie McPhee and experience the great
> pleasure that it gives you. Repeat this process until the rest of your
> household starts to look at you funny. For extra help, check out our
> affirmation ball.