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Lesson Plans

Been online too long? (yikes!)

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
Lauretta A. Hendricks-Backus (
Sun, 31 May 1998 15:17:50 -0500

>Been on-line too long?
>|o| Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
>|o| When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a
> search function to get to the point.
>|o| Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
>|o| When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing
> your response.
>|o| You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's
> nothing there.
>|o| You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
>|o| You have called out someone's screen name while making love
> to your significant other.
>|o| You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang
> out."
>|o| Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
>|o| You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl"
> face-to-face.
>|o| You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
>|o| You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
>|o| You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
> complete sentences.
>|o| You have met over 100 onliners.
>|o| You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
>|o| When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
>|o| You find yourself sneaking away to the puter in the night when
> your spouse is asleep.
>|o| You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't
> know you're on-line again.
>|o| You know more about on-line friends' daily routines than you do
> your own spouse's.
>|o| You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when
> they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the
> hook.
>|o| You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name
> close to your own.
>|o| You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
> partying too much than the truth.
>|o| You change your screen name so much that you have to do a whois
> to know who you are.
>|o| You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them
> at the same time.
>|o| You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
>|o| Your dog leaves you.
>|o| You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
>|o| You type faster than you can think.
>|o| You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that
> scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
>|o| You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
>|o| You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you
> wanted to check your mail and while there you "just wanted to
> see who was on-line"
>Ok, now count the number that were true, and if you have more than 10
>of them, you know you're hooked.
>I will Subscribe or Unsubscribe the originating email address.
>If you have something funny you wish to contribute, please send
>it to me. I mail out only what I get in, therefore none of the
>material is original to me.
>The Humor does not necessarily reflect my own tastes, views, or
>beliefs. I try to send all types of humor out, however, the
>cleanest humor will normally be sent out first.