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Lesson Plans

SCarl49932 <SCarl49932>: irony

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
bob carl (bcarl28)
Wed, 20 May 1998 16:21:15 -0400

a few laughs for us all.......hope you n-joy!

--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
From: SCarl49932 <SCarl49932>
To: ganderson, Jakensis,
KBlake00,bcarl28, MMMARKE,
MKemper608,kalaskas, KnKd,
Sarah_Smart,RSTANLEY, cheryl144
Subject: irony
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 02:59:28 EDT
Message-ID: <2b3668b5.35627f52>

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of
the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both
eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter
in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her
mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the
world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down, eight
hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his
girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door,
his arm in two places. A shame as he had merely been listening to his

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all
two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And the last and best. . . . .

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
You've guessed it, he opened it and said a fond farewell to his

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