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Lesson Plans


SCarl49932 <SCarl49932>: bumper stickers

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
bob carl (bcarl28)
Sun, 17 May 1998 19:14:57 -0400


end of the year chuckles,part one :

--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
From: SCarl49932 <SCarl49932>
To: cheryl144, RSTANLEY,
Sarah_Smart,Missyamee,
MARTAY,KRISTIN_LINDSTROM, KnKd,
MKemper608,kalaskas, MAGNAW,
Wayne1126,JUDIERICKSON,
jaellio.mil,Photoisme, bcarl28,
Jakensis,ganderson
Subject: bumper stickers
Date: Sun, 17 May 1998 02:31:02 EDT
Message-ID: <e18f8b4.355e8428>

> >Actual bumper stickers found on actual cars:
> >
> > * Horn broken. Watch for finger.
> > * Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
> > * All generalizations are false.
> > * Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
> > * I brake for no apparent reason.
> > * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
> > * I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
> > * Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
> > * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
> > * He who laughs last thinks slowest.
> > * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
> > * It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
> > * Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
> > * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
> > * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
> > * I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
> > * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> > * Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
> > * Born free...Taxed to death.
> > * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
> > * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
> > * Rehab is for quitters.
> > * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
> > * Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
> > * All men are idiots, and I married their King.
> > * Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
> > * Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
> > * Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
> > * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
> >vegetarian.
> >
> > * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
> > * If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
> > * When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the
> > IRS..
> > * Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
> > * No radio - Already stolen.
> > * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
> > * Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
> > * I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
> > * Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
> > * OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
> > * Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
> > * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
> > * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
> > * Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
> > * IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
> > * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
> > * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
> > * According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
> > * Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
> > * Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
> > * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
> > * Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
> > * How can I miss you if you won't go away?
> > * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
> > * Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
> > * We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
> > * Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
> > * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
> > * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
> > * Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
> > * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be
> >happy.
> >
> > * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> > * i souport publik edekashun.
> > * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
> > * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
> > * There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who
can't.
> > * Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
> > * Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
> > * Keep honking...I'm reloading.
> > * Caution: I drive like you do.

--------- End forwarded message ----------

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