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[teacherartexchange] hoot!

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From: wendy free (wendypaigefree_at_TeacherArtExchange)
Date: Mon May 01 2006 - 14:08:57 PDT


sometimes when you google...found these searching for
scratchboard artists!

74 Corney Art Jokes

    What kind of paper do lactose intolerant artists
prefer? (acid free)

    What kind of art do lazy people avoid? (action
paintings)

    How can you tell an artist is an airhead? (he
paints in aerial perspective)

    How can you tell what a picture is *really*
thinking? (watch its after-image)

    What kind of print just plain stinks? (a la
poupee)

    What kind of angles are always accused of a crime?
(an angle of incidence)

    How come no one believed she was really an artist?
(she had no a/p)

    What kind of painting likes to start fights?
(aquarelle)

    What did the old frame say about the younger
frame? ("It's sooo armature!")

    What kind of art never has opinions? (artifacts)

    What kind of studio does Speedy Gonzalez use?
(Atelier! Atelier!)

    Why couldn't the linoleum block reproduce quality
prints? (it's presser was baren)

    Why did the cat hiss at the artist's drawing? (it
was made with bark paper)

    What kind of charcoal washes ashore? (beech)

    Why did the artist take his print to the doctor?
(it was bleeding)

    What kind of painting additive is happy after
drinks? (blown oil)

    What did the artist use to prove he was right?
(casien paint)

    Why did the art restorer refuse to repair the
painting? (he liked the cleavage)

    What kind of watercolor texture do ladies enjoy?
(cockling)

    Why was the drawing paper mailed as rush delivery?
(it was pressed for time)

    Why did the artist tear her school application
into pieces? (to get into collage)

    Why was the colorless pencil charged with racism?
(it was in-colorant)

    What do you call it when two paints date each
other? (color mixing)

    What kind of colors kiss each other's butt?
(complementary)

    What did the lithographer do to stop puking?
(counteretch)

    What kind of paintings do drug addicts buy?
(craquelure)

    Why did the chickens lay eggs perpendicular to
each other? (they were crosshatching)

    Why was the artist afraid of stamps? (he had
decalcomania)

    What is a collagist's favorite song? (dechirage..
chirage.. whatever will be.. will be..)

    What happened to the artist's dog when it ingested
cheap water and glue? (it became distempered)

    What kind of college art student likes to hang out
on sloping roofs? (a dormer)

    How can you tell a painting has had too much to
drink? (it has double shadows)

    What kind of erotic art is most uncomfortable?
(dry mounted)

    Why didn't the timid artist like the relief mold?
(it was embossing)

    Why did the artist scratch himself with a needle?
(he was etching)

    What was the painting asked, on "Who Want's To Be
A Millionaire"? (Is that your Final Varnish!)

    What kind of dandruff do artists suffer from?
(flake white)

    What did the wooden frame say to the linen canvas?
(Don't gimme any flax!)

    What did the painting say to the sculpture? ("I've
been framed!")

    What kind of painting gets felt up and down? (a
fresco)

    What do detectives use to frame a scene? (French
chalk)

    What kind of pencil does John Travolta draw with?
(grease)

    What did the artist rapper call his painting?
("Bizzah in the Grisaille")

    What kind of eraser is never wanted? (a kneaded
one)

    What did the varnish say about the artist? (Ah
lacquer - Ah lacquer a lot!)

    What kind of paper always gets dates? (laid)

    What kind of cloth responds to Beatle's music
(linen)

 wendy
www.wendypaigefree.com

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