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Re: A lesson learned


From: Esa Tipton (tmtartseducation_at_TeacherArtExchange)
Date: Fri May 24 2002 - 02:31:16 PDT

I would like to add some thoughts to this incident. I
find it tragic and paintful. How it's dealt with,
though, seems to me, to be important for everyone
involved, you, the student, and maybe the school

There's an important learning opportunity here and I
wonder if the anger will obscure it and it will be
missed. Whatever happens between him and the school,
there is another issue at stake, and that is where you
go from here. Will you help him or hinder him with
your anger?

The boy in question overstepped his boundaries and
should have a consequence. Ask him what he thinks it
should be. Let him say why. Have him put something in
writing and bring it to a meeting with you. Use is in
a meeting between you two and a neutral third party,
perhaps the counselor to scribe and paraphrase. Use it
as a negotiation to come up with a consequence that is
agreed upon, whether it is something you impose from
his reticence to take responsibility for it, or
whether from seeing that something has to happen. Let
him learn from his mistakes, not go out and make more
and worse with other people.

I can't help but think this is your personal
Israeli-Palestian conflict, as a metaphor, and unless
we can move beyond our anger as the last word, we will
create more polarized anger. This is a chance to move
the energy and make something better out of it.

> I was absolutely livid and talked to him the next
> day and told him to take it
> off and how dare he do this to a site for the school
> and not tell me, etc.,
> etc. He did and I thought we were fine. He is
> never going to gain my trust
> and we have severed any good relationship we had
> before.

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