This is the first time I have responded to this list in the last two years since
I began reading ArtEdNet Talk. I guess you would call me a "lurker" as well --
though I find the term dubious. I believe in politeness, manners and forbearance
to all creatures, people, and entities great and small. However, I have also
learned over the years (I have been teaching art for 10 years now) that there is
such a thing as "idiot compassion." I was a pro at providing this unique but
dangerous brand of compassion.
Teachers need to have firm boundaries with their students and colleagues. Art
teachers have an especially difficult time establishing boundaries and advocating
for students, their programs and themselves in a world in which test scores are
valued over fine art and creative expression. We spend our days giving and giving
without "thank you’s" and more often than not without recognition. I believe
that most of us have a very hard time - teaching, preparing, organizing supplies,
purchasing supplies, preparing lessons and pursuing professional development
requirements for both state and national certification. I would not fault your
colleagues here Bunky - but I would look into your self to see if you have
established boundaries with those you seek to help -- did you ask for SASEs? Did
you say, "If you reimburse me or do a trade I will send you thus and such?" Did
you even say, "Please send an acknowledgement so that I know what you thought of
this lesson or how it worked in your classroom or eith this pupulation or age
group"?
If you have not established your own rules of commerce or free trade with your
brothers and sisters at this site, you have no reason to complain. Many
(especially beginning teachers) are exhausted, and overwhelmed with all that they
have to do on a daily basis. I think they are working as hard as they can – and
that some of the niceties of life drop off when people are overworked.
Guidelines and boundaries help everyone – even the overworked, world-weary and
exhausted new art teachers are helped by working with others who have established
boundaries. Those boundaries also help new art teachers establish their own
boundaries. We teach by example and we learn by example – we learn less by
admonition.
In an ideal world in an ideal galaxy, we theoretically give to others without
thought of return -- if the concept of "no return" is repugnant to you - then for
you to give to others is too expensive and emotionally enervating for it to be
worth it. I give freely until and unless I know it’s too expensive – and then I
put up my guidelines, rules and boundaries. Establishing boundaries has saved
my life as an art teacher and as a student of life.
I use to feel that as an art teacher, part of my job was to give until it hurt
until I realized I would just end up feeling used, unhappy and broke. I am not
Mother Theresa – I am an art teacher. I had to learn to give what I knew I could
afford emotionally, spiritually and intellectually -- and save the rest for
myself (my personal time, my down time, my professional development time, or time
with family).
Bunky , this is not meant to be harsh -- this is meant to emphasize the
importance of looking within and reflecting as part of the experience of the
daily outward stroke of teaching. I was offended by your message because as
someone who hungrily reads these missives when they come in I felt hurt that
participation on this web site (even as a reader) has it's rules according to
you. I thought we were all colleagues and when I had something important to
contribute, I would do so – even if years passed. I didn’t know that reading
this stuff without participating made me a "lurker." Think again please...is
this really how you see the silent majority who reads this site without throwing
in their two cents, or the minority who have not thanked you properly?
