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Lesson Plans

a little funny for the list regarding spelling errors from the worst typist alive

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
susan reynolds (reynolds)
Mon, 23 Mar 1998 06:40:21 -0800

This is not meant to offend anyone in any way. So take it with the
"slightly bent" sense of humor it was meant with. ;D

European communications

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also,
the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up

konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no or trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Susan sends a giggle to the group for Monday morning after spring break
is finished in PA.