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Why We Love Kids...

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carm_at_TeacherArtExchange
Date: Sun Mar 13 2005 - 09:10:49 PST


 Why we all love kids.....

1. NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
 when
a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
 to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said
 with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause
 it
fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added,
Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting
the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
 in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" " Yes," I answered and
continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I
 should ask
the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please
tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
 barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.. Puzzled, the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he
 do?"

 8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
 that
suit." "And why not, darling?" The little girl replied, "You know
it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
secured a
small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal
of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather,and unto
 the
Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
>> >and they won't let me talk!"

12. BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
 old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
Adam's underwear."

Kids, our most precious assets.

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