Hi, I got this at school. Thought some might like a chuckle.
SCHOOL VOICE MAIL
> Hello! You have reached the automated answering service
of your school.
> In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff
> please listen to all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent, Press 1.
> To make excuses for why your child did not do his work,
> To complain about what we do, Press 3.
> To cuss out staff members, Press 4.
> To ask why you didn't get needed information that was
> in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you,
> If you want us to raise your child, Press 6.
> If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone,
> To request another teacher for the third time this year,
> To complain about bus transportation, Press 9.
> To complain about school lunches, Press 0.
> If you realize this is the real world and your child
must be accountable
> / responsible for his/her own behavior, class work,
> that it's not the teachers fault for your child(ren)'s
lack of effort...
> Hang up and have a nice day!!