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Lesson Plans


Teaching - a piece of cake!

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
lindacharlie (lindacharlie)
Tue, 22 Jun 1999 10:12:04 -0500


Dear colleagues,
I don't usually send this kind of thing but somehow it seemed
appropriate this time considering the "teaching question" thread. If
you hate humor, please delete. It's not exactly the art teacher's
version, but the meaning is clear enough! :)
Linda from glorious sunny and 70s Michigan

TEACHING - a piece of cake!

Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that
room
with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for
learning. Not only that, I'm to instill a sense of pride in their
ethnicity, behaviorally modify their disruptive behavior, and observe
them for signs of abuse.
I am to fight the war against drugs and sexually transmitted
diseases,
check their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem.
I'm to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship
and fair
play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook and
how to apply for a job but I am never to ask if they are in this country
illegally.

I am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe
environment, recognize signs of potential antisocial behavior, counsel
troubled students, offer parenting advice, write letters of
recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage a
respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, teach,
meeting each student's individual educational needs, using the most
current, up-to-date teaching strategies, while always making sure that I
give the girls in my class fifty percent of my attention.

I'm required by my contract to be working on my own time
(summers and
evenings) and at my own expense toward additional endoresements,
advanced certification, and a master's degree, to advise the
cheerleaders or the sophomore class (my choice) and after school I am to
attend committee and staff meetings and participate in staff development
training to maintain my current certification and employment status, all
the while hoping and praying that the current school budget passes...

I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my
very
presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of
authority.

I am to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a few books
and a
bulletin board, and on a starting salary that qualifies my family for
food stamps in many states.

Is that all?