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My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and
lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
Thisis lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price
tagwith an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the
first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore
it. She was saving it
for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the
slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to
the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he
slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for
a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning
to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I
thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I
thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they
were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending
more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like
it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small
bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special
parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that
function as well as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known
that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think
she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have
called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I
like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm guessing -I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if
I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good
Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and
sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly
love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save
anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is
special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
If you've received this it is because someone cares for you and
it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.If you're too
busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this
to ten people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing
that would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it
certainly won't be the last. I don't have to make up silly stories about
people being hit by buses or crushed by falling disco balls for not sending
this letter on. You've seen the result of this neglect in your own
relationships that you have allowed to fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair.
Take this opportunity to set a new trend. Take a few minutes to
send this to a few people you care about, just to let them know that you're
thinking of them. It's even better if they're not the people you already
correspond with every week. The more people that you send this to, the
better luck you will have. And the better you'll get and reaching out to
those you care about.
Here's the deal: Forward this letter to at least 10 different
people; within 1 hour of receiving it. Do it, and reap what you sow: luck
in love, people who care for you, and that warm glowy feeling that comes
from loving others. Don't do it, and suffer the consequences of being alone,
wrapped up in your own affairs, and being too busy to do the things you
actually care about. May love litter your life with blessings!
"You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's
never going to hurt."
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends
don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be
"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
'Pooh!' he whispered.
'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"
I will not drag you along; i will not leave you alone; i will
stand by you and have my hand there for you to hold when you need to.