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[teacherartexchange] My decision


Date: Sat Jul 08 2006 - 21:46:04 PDT

I want to thank everyone for their support and candid advice regarding my job
offer. I have struggled with this decision all weekend. I have gone from a
feeling of excitement and confidence to one of total panic and back again. I
have come to the conclusion that I want this job, but I only want it if the
administration really wants me regardless of my experience. So, I have decided
that I'm going to call on Monday and be very open and honest with the
assistant principal. Even though all of my friends and many of you on the list told
me that I should just go for it, in my heart, I can't accept a position if I
might not meet their expectations. I just wouldn't feel right about it. I plan
on telling the AP that I want the job more than anything, that I want to work
at her school and am willing to work as hard as I can, but that I can only
feel comfortable accepting the position if she really understands where I'm
coming from...that I don't have a ceramics background, that I will be learning as
I go and that I may only be one step ahead of my students. I plan on telling
her that I am willing to take courses and read and research and do whatever it
takes to do the best job that I can, but that she needs to understand that I
need to learn it before I teach it. If she is looking for someone who is an
expert in ceramics, then I cannot pretend to be that person. If she
understands my situation and is comfortable with it, or if she has decided to hire me
because she can't find any ceramics teachers and is desperate for someone to
fill the position, then I am willing to be that person. I just don't want to let
anyone down. I need to know that they understand this. If she still wants
to hire me, then I'll take it.

Perhaps I'm shooting myself in the foot, but I just need to be honest. It's
who I am. I'm not good at faking things or pretending to be things I'm not.
If I take the job and disappoint everyone because they thought I had more
experience, then I will feel awful. Knowing that I am going to be up front has
already made me feel better. I'm afraid that they might change their mind, but
then I need to tell myself that I did the right thing.

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