I can honestly say, my first year was beyond HORRIBLE! everything that could
go wrong did go wrong - the students didn't take me seriously, my attempts
at classroom management were ridiculous, my confidence was nil, most of the
kids are bigger than me... and of course, I caught every bug and virus that
came into the building...
oh, and did I mention my mom's cancer treatment that year....
Just when it thought I would totally blow - a high school student who was
assigned tome as an aide (because he could not be left unsupervised) said to
me - "ya know Ms. Leah, if you would just lower your expectations - you
wouldn't be nearly as disappointed all the time."
So there it was, my moment of truth.... do I lower my expectations, and make
it an easier job for everyone - or to I stick to my guns, and do the job, I
know I was destined for...
Well, 5 years later, with a slightly stronger immune system, and a little
tougher skin, I have certainly learned to worker smarter, not harder. The
same high school students I threw out of my class for coming to art room
stoned, now come to me for guidance. They know that I say what I mean and
mean what I say. Yesterday I stared a new semester, a whole new group of
middle schoolers - one of them (who does not know me) came in and put his
feet on my art table - he was out the door in nothing flat... the rest of
them got the message too.
I received an amazing compliment during my review last quarter, one of the
parents complained because they weren't getting the typical collection of
"crafty" art come home with the kids - she asked to review my lessons, and
walked away impressed, that I was ACTUALLY TEACHING THEM ART!!!!!!!!!
I think one of the hardest things for me, is remembering that I am the grown
up - I am no longer a participant in the popularity contest (I failed the
first go round myself - circa 1971!). This is my job, and unfortunately most
of us have to learn the ropes on our won - thank goodness for groups like th
is for support, wisdom and guidance!
So, take a deep breathe, and go back for another round - obviously you care
deeply about doing a good job, and you will. One day at a time, you will
learn the tricks of the trade, that will help make things more manageable
and them you will have more and more teachable moments and less and less
struggles, but time takes time, and your learning every day, what works and
what does not.
