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Lesson Plans


Re: Alison-4-year-old resistance - couple more things

From: Holly112
Date: Sun Jan 30 2000 - 11:09:33 PST

  • Next message: Janjarreau: "Re: A Word of Warning"

    In a message dated 01/30/2000 10:50:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,
    alison.b writes:

    .. I think the whole thing is wrapped up in his own perception of his
     abilities
     (he is a bit of a perfectionist) and he's been given too much negative
     feedback by others ... I'm just trying to figure out how to undo the
     damage
     that's been done.
     
     Thanks again
     Alison

    Dear Alison,

    I have a 5 yr old girl in one of my K art classes, and she exhibits slightly
    different behaviors, but they are definitely tied in to perfectionism and
    manipulation. I have no insights to the family life, when I called the
    parent, I got nothing! (But thats another story...) In Art, the only time
    she will work on anything is when there are no parameters, ie. "Now you can
    make or draw whatewver you want." Whenever she has to follow instructions,
    she successfully carries them out and immediately scribbles on it, ruining it
    deliberately, throws whatever art supply we are working with across the room,
    crumbling up the paper, etc. ( She does this in her Regular classroom too)
    At first, I tried to get her to see that everyone is doing the same thing,
    but differently... I had her sit on my lap while I kindly talked to her.
    Another time, after I found out she wanted it to "be perfect", I held her
    hand and we looked at everyone's work, walking around the artroom. She EATS
    UP ALL THIS ATTENTION, its obvious. All my kindness and talks have done
    nothing. (Since Sept...) A therapist came to the classroom to obseve her
    and sat with her and gave her 17 pieces of paper, no joke. Of course, she
    enjoyed the therapist doting on her too. I only have 38 minutes to service
    26 other kindergartners, and cannot help this child... I once recently asked
    her why she continues to rip up her work even though she is doing a fine job
    and she told me she has to "be the best". (I think she does this to herself,
    but I don't have any info to know or guess why.. She is her own worst enemy.
    The funny thing is that she does do an almost perfect job, compared to her
    peers! I know she loves Art despite her horrible behavior, so now I make her
    take a whole-rest-of-the-period time-out when she throws my supplies, (even
    though that is a long time for a 5 yr. old...)

    My point is that your 4 yr old is being manipulative (I think) because he
    knows this is impt. to you. He knows you're making a big deal... Try not
    caring so much. He has other great things he can do. If its too late to fix
    the damage, see if you can get some kind of professional help soon, because
    as hard as we teachers try, the system is not set up for us to concentrate on
    just one student... All the other Kindergarteners say things about my student
    because they are watching and waiting for her to erupt again, its
    heartbreaking...
    lly :0) 

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