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THINGS THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT TEACHING
1. That there will be times you will break the 4-min. mile getting to the
restroom during the passing periods.
2. That you might find yourself suddenly in front of 38 students...none who
speak English and 3 of whom have no desks.
3. That the air-conditioner only works in winter and the heater in summer.
4. That just when the students have their hands in plaster, there will be a
5. That the parents who come to open house are not the ones you need to see.
6. That the rotten kids are never sick.
7. That if you give clay to 8th graders, half of them will make toilets.
8. That you will spend lots of your paycheck for classroom supplies.
9. That you will get laryngitis in September.
10. That you'll stop eating in the cafeteria.
11. That if you get a run in your stocking, you will be notified by each child.
12. That after a few years, you'll stop dressing up for school.
13. That teachers do not automatically become smarter when they become
14. That you're more likely to be out sick on days you're assigned "duty".
15. That you'll hate it when it rains.
16. That new teachers should never quit immediately after the first year.
Or the second.
17. That teaching can be lonely.
18. That you'll go through trash/dumpsters to discover unique things for your
19. That substitutes can write really nasty notes.
20. That when you think your worst class can't get worse...they do.
21. That just when you're yelling at the kids to shut up, the intercom will
come on and everyone in the office will stop and listen.
22. That good, comfortable shoes will mean more to you than new clothes.
23. That you'll never be able to completely clean out the trunk of your car.
24. That if you haven't had all the childhood diseases, now you'll get them.
25. That if you try to demonstrate something to students, it will rarely
26. That the kids will remember if you have been wearing the same clothes
for the last four days.
27. That the one day you're not at your "duty" post is the day the principal
is making his rounds and checking.
28. That the day you're being observed by the principal, you get two new
students and you're in the second day of a 3-day lesson.
29. That if you gain weight, a student will raise his hand and ask if you are
30. That the day you look your worst is the day the school board visits....
which is also the same day the photographer takes surprise classroom
31. That while you are in the middle of a serious classroom discussion on
behavior and consequences, another teacher will want to "borrow" 33 sheets
of yellow construction paper.
32. That if you say there's nudity or violence in a video you will show, the
students will stay awake waiting for the good stuff.
33. That if there is a stray dog on campus, he'll find your classroom and
leave a gift.
34. That if you come out of a bar, you'll run into one of your students and
35. That there is always a "good" class.
36. That at the end of the day you'll find all of your supplies........on the
37. That EVERYONE in the class will say, "I didn't do it."
38. That while you were gone, "someone" borrowed all your classroom scissors
and didn't leave a note.
39. That you came to school with two shoes of the same style...but different
40. That you gave an inspiring welcome talk and explanation at open house,
only to discover that half of the parents do not understand English.
41. That someone will put clay in the key holes of all the doors to the art
42. That the student hand drawings you put up in the office have gang tattoos
and the wrong finger projecting....but drawn beautifully.
43. That you have been asked to do all the signs for the cafeteria........by
44. That your hands and nails will never be back to normal until summer.
45. That no one will really understand what you are going through.
46. That school supplies are delivered only on rainy days...one week late.
47. That directions will have to be repeated more than 5 times.
48. That just when you've decided you hate all kids, one of them will give you
49. That the exact moment the kids are cleaning up clay mess, the water is
suddenly turned off by a worker who just left for lunch.
50. That kids will stand around an overflowing sink and no one will check
for a sponge blocking the sink.
51. That you will most probably get sick on Friday afternoon, feel miserable
all weekend and recover Monday morning...thereby ruining one whole, lovely
weekend of rest.
52. That a bulletin board display you designed can have a life span of three...
five...or even 20 more years.
53. That in a student's mind, there is no such thing as school after March.
54. That the spring season is not for "renewal"....it's for "burnout".
55. That you get to repeat it all over again for the next 35 years.
56. (add your own!)............................................
Hope you enjoy! Cya.........
Los Cerros Middle School
Danville, California 94526