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Lesson Plans


Humor via chicken jokes....

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
gallegos_r
Mon, 11 Dec 1995 11:44:50 -0700


Hola fellow fine arts educators, etc. -

This post isn't directly related to art, but I thought you would/could all
enjoy the humor!

Enjoy!
:],
gallegos_r


> WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
> Plato: For the greater good.
>
> Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
>
> Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
> chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
> also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with
> such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
> chicken's dominion maintained.
>
> Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
> pancreas.
>
> Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
> within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is
> equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because
> structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
>
> Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
> out.
>
> Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would
> let it take.
>
> Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
>
> Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
> also across you.
>
> B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
> sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it
> would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of
> its own free will.
>
> Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated
> that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
> therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
>
> Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
> chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
>
> Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
> objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which
> caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
>
> Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
> the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
>
> Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
>
> Buddha: If you meet the chicken on the road, kill it.
>
> Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
> events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian
> biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
> relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence
>
> Salvador Dali: The Fish.
>
> Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
>
> Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
>
> Epicurus: For fun.
>
> Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
>
> Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
>
> Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
>
> Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was
> on, but it was moving very fast.
>
> David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
>
> Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
> reason.
>
> Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
>
> The Sphinx: You tell me.
>
> Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
>
> Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out
> of life.
>
> Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
>
> Molly Yard: It was a hen!
>
> Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.