I have given up the fight. My students are very important to me. They
wanted to see me cry and I cried for my students -- I cried for our
district.
I went back in a picked up a few things that I do not want to leave behind.
I am tired of trying to find a reason for me to stay when they seem to
support a man who can not be trusted to tell the truth. He even betrayed a
trust I had in a school board member. I shared some things and asked her to
keep it quiet (she had before). I was ready to put myself on the line if
negotiations didn't go well. He told me today that she spoke to him that I
was meddling in negotiations! Not true. I care so much for these kids that
I don't want their quality teachers to walk out because the teachers do not
get respect. I told her that if our team was not treated with respect in
negotiations and was not satisfied with the package -- that I would share
all with the board. THAT is the main reason I was removed from school.
The super thinks I am unstable and unfit to teach. He wants me to go to a
psychiatric evaluation with the therapist that nearly ruined me a year ago.
The super believes he can control my thoughts -- my freedoms -- If his
decisions are truly made through god as mine are -- then I really fear for
our school system -- Who is his god? He would not allow me to forgive him.
I forgive to keep myself from getting angry. But I guess I have done all I
can.
It is deja vue all over again. I am not permitted to talk to any members of
our staff --- I am certainly not permitted to talk to any board
members...And I am not permitted to go anywhere near the school. He did at
least allow me to go back and get a few things...But I still need to get my
son's chair. I didn't have room for that in my van.
I prayed and prayed that I was doing the right thing and that I was right
where I was supposed to be..... Since I felt angry when I went back to get
my things -- I was upset with my God -- I wept -- but I guess I must move
on. I am meeting with an attorney Friday and will only agree to leave if I
get the rest of my contract paid. I WILL not go to that therapist
again..... I trust my girlfriend/sister so much more than I trust that
doctor! She told me he would "send me up the river" -- and I knew exactly
what she meant! My sister is VICTORIOUS..... and Jewish. I trust her
completely. She is a sister. Folks you have to know who to trust....and you
definitely trust your real family first. She was my maid of honor too. I am
not permitted to say anything to a board member -- but you don't want to
mess with the wrath of Victorious....Although I have been helping her deal
with anger.
He chose a therapist HE could trust -- not one I could trust. I have one
that I am talking to Saturday -- appointment was made long ago -- just to
close out the books with her. Her advice will also be to leave. She knows I
am fighting a losing battle as long as I stay in that district. I won't
even wonder any more.
I feel now that god may have a greater mission for me -- perhaps in these
weeks before Christmas he will reveal it to me. I have always wanted to be
an art teacher -- I had no other dreams (except for world peace --- but we
all have that one).
I will still pray for my students..... I love them --- but I do love my
family here more.
