Have you heard about the next planned Survivor show? Three businessmen
and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school
classroom for 6 weeks. Each business person will be provided with a
copy of their school district's curriculum, and a class of 28 students.
Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with
A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will
be labeled as severe behavior problems. Each business person must
complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for
curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create materials
accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle
misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals,
correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report
cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange
parent conferences.
They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition,
they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, and shooting attacks.
They must attend workshops, (100 hours), faculty meetings, union
meetings, and curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor
those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English
speaking children proficient enough to take the Terra Nova and EPA
tests.
If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show. Each
day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social
studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an
educationally stimulating environment at all times.
The business people will only have access to the golf course on the
weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it
anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to
lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes.
On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be
permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival
candidate is supervising their class. They will be provided with two
40-minute planning periods per week while their students are at
specials. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary
materials at this time. The business people must continually advance
their education on their own time and pay for this advanced training
themselves. This can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or
marrying someone with money. The winner
will be allowed to return to his or her job.
Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy and to the ones
that know it is hard. They will both benefit.
--
I'm from Kansas, where the Legislature and BOE keep trying
to define the term "suitable" because our constitution requires
the state provide a "suitable" education for all students
Only Kansas is flat, not the entire planet.
To respond to me privately via E-mail
click on mailto:wduncan@kc.rr.com
put Hey Woody on the subject line so I'll read it first
my watercolors are at http://www.taospaint.com/WoodysPaintings.html
visit my Web Site at http://www.taospaint.com
this e-mail message is from Artist/Teacher Woody Duncan
Rosedale Middle School in Kansas City, Kansas
the URL for Rosedale is http://kancrn.kckps.k12.ks.us/rosedale
for the newest photos of my beautiful grandkids Tim, Tess and Tiff
click on http://www.taospaint.com/Ducks.html
for a virtual field trip of KC go to http://taospaint.com/VirtualTour.html
