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If Microsoft made cars...

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From: Woody Duncan (wduncan_at_TeacherArtExchange)
Date: Fri Aug 03 2001 - 11:12:56 PDT


An old friend sent this to me and I had to pass it on.
When I laugh out loud it must be funny.
                                                Woody in KC

If Microsoft made cars...

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would
have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per
cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned
the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
them
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause
the
car's performance to diminish by 35% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.

12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

-- 
       I'm from Kansas,  where the Legislature and BOE keep trying 
        to define the term "suitable" because our constitution requires
          the state provide a "suitable" education for all students
                      Only Kansas is flat, not the entire planet.
                       To respond to me privately via E-mail
                           click on  mailto:wduncan@kc.rr.com
           put Hey Woody on the subject line so I'll read it first
 my watercolors are at http://www.taospaint.com/WoodysPaintings.html
                visit my Web Site at http://www.taospaint.com
      this e-mail message is from Artist/Teacher Woody Duncan
               Rosedale Middle School in Kansas City, Kansas
        the URL for Rosedale is http://kancrn.kckps.k12.ks.us/rosedale
     for the newest photos of my beautiful grandkids Tim, Tess and Tiff 
                      click on http://www.taospaint.com/Ducks.html      
    
    for a virtual field trip of KC go to http://taospaint.com/VirtualTour.html
---