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Lesson Plans


Re: Fw: OPENING LINES

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
elwood p dowd (harvey96)
Thu, 30 Apr 1998 16:52:36 -0400


wats this got to do with treaching art ???

On Sun, 26 Apr 1998 21:32:26 -0700 "Larry Cox" <l_j_cox>
writes:
>This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
>
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>Content-Type: text/plain;
> charset="iso-8859-1"
>Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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>
>Subject: OPENING LINES
>
>
>We all know how important the opening line of a book is and here are a
>=
>few to entertain you from a book called: "It Was a Dark and Stormy =
>Night" - the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest - The funniest =
>opening sentences from the worse novels never written - compiled by =
>Scott Rice...Bulwer-Lytton introduced the notorious opening line =
>(mentioned above) in his 1830 novel called Paul Clifford. Here are a
>few =
>more opening lines for you to ponder:
>
>The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted =
>sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails---not for the first
>=
>time since the journey began---pondered snidely if this would dissolve
>=
>into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays =
>spent with Basil. (Gail Cain, 1983 winner)...The lovely woman-child
>Kaa =
>was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior chief Beast,
>=
>with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when
>the =
>strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, "Flick =
>your Bic, crisp that chick, and you=92ll feel my steel through your
>last =
>meal" (Steve Garman, 1984 winner)...A rosy dawn crept over the hills =
>like the scarlet flush on the bosom of the earth, which shone
>redolently =
>with a pearly musk infusing all nature with its aroma, particularly
>the =
>fringed gentians nodding against the great chimney of Broderick Hall,
>=
>where the master and his household, in the panoply of a grand style
>long =
>forgotten, savored the luxury of their circumstances without any =
>knowledge or apprehension that the claret, by foul means unbeknownst
>to =
>any but the wizened brain of the nefarious steward, had been laced
>with =
>poison so offensive it could blacken their countenances by setting
>sun, =
>and, as surely as shadows will fall when the sun rises, unless there
>is =
>nothing to obstruct its rays, when they quaffed it, it did precisely =
>that. (Robert W. Shields, winner, Gothic Romance category)...The
>surface =
>of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly textured and green, much
>=
>like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all
>=
>right to buy it. (Scott Davis Jones, winner Sci-Fi category)...Seen =
>through the stinking smoke of a smoldering straw-strewn saloon, the =
>setting sun looked like a sorrel sack of soggy stogies, as stocky =
>Stanford Stubbins, the Stanislaus Stampeder, stiffly staggered from
>the =
>stuffy stagecoach; stonily stood in startled stupefaction;
>spontaneously =
>saluted the still-standing Stars and Stripes; sternly stepped over the
>=
>struggling scorpion; silently slew the slithering sidewinder; sadly =
>swallowed the single swig of sickly-sweet sarsaparilla; sullenly =
>shrugged his shrapnel-seared shoulders; suddenly stopped staring at
>the =
>stolen stirrup; and sorrowfully saddled the sole surviving starving =
>stallion...(Jay J. Levine, winner, Western category)...
>
>The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event that asks =
>contestants to compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel.
>=
>Entries should be submitted on an index card...the sentence on one
>side =
>and the entrant=92s name, address and phone number on the other. The =
>deadline is April 15 (chosen because Americans associate it with
>another =
>painful submission) so you have plenty of time to hone your entry, =
>should you decide to enter. Send entries to: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction =
>Contest
>
>Department of English
>
>San Jose State University
>
>San Jose, CA 95192-0090
>
>Linda Cox
>
>
>------=_NextPart_000_0017_01BD715A.CED36E00
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><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><B>Subject: </B>OPENING =
>LINES<BR><BR></DIV></FONT>
><DIV><FONT face=3DArial>
><P>We all know how important the opening line of a book is and here
>are =
>a few to=20
>entertain you from a book called: &quot;It Was a Dark and Stormy =
>Night&quot; -=20
>the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest - The funniest opening =
>sentences=20
>from the worse novels never written - compiled by Scott =
>Rice...Bulwer-Lytton=20
>introduced the notorious opening line (mentioned above) in his 1830 =
>novel called=20
><I>Paul Clifford.</I> Here are a few more opening lines for you to =
>ponder:</P>
><P>The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted
>=
>sulkily=20
>and, buffing her already impeccable nails---not for the first time
>since =
>the=20
>journey began---pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a
>vignette =
>of minor=20
>inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil. (Gail
>Cain, =
>1983=20
>winner)...The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the =
>cruel post=20
>of the warrior chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood
>=
>at her=20
>nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic =
>Handsomas=20
>roared, &quot;Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you&rsquo;ll feel
>my =
>steel=20
>through your last meal&quot; (Steve Garman, 1984 winner)...A rosy dawn
>=
>crept=20
>over the hills like the scarlet flush on the bosom of the earth, which
>=
>shone=20
>redolently with a pearly musk infusing all nature with its aroma, =
>particularly=20
>the fringed gentians nodding against the great chimney of Broderick =
>Hall, where=20
>the master and his household, in the panoply of a grand style long =
>forgotten,=20
>savored the luxury of their circumstances without any knowledge or =
>apprehension=20
>that the claret, by foul means unbeknownst to any but the wizened
>brain =
>of the=20
>nefarious steward, had been laced with poison so offensive it could =
>blacken=20
>their countenances by setting sun, and, as surely as shadows will fall
>=
>when the=20
>sun rises, unless there is nothing to obstruct its rays, when they =
>quaffed it,=20
>it did precisely that. (Robert W. Shields, winner, Gothic Romance=20
>category)...The surface of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly =
>textured=20
>and green, much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid
>=
>says it=20
>is all right to buy it. (Scott Davis Jones, winner Sci-Fi =
>category)...Seen=20
>through the stinking smoke of a smoldering straw-strewn saloon, the =
>setting sun=20
>looked like a sorrel sack of soggy stogies, as stocky Stanford
>Stubbins, =
>the=20
>Stanislaus Stampeder, stiffly staggered from the stuffy stagecoach; =
>stonily=20
>stood in startled stupefaction; spontaneously saluted the
>still-standing =
>Stars=20
>and Stripes; sternly stepped over the struggling scorpion; silently
>slew =
>the=20
>slithering sidewinder; sadly swallowed the single swig of
>sickly-sweet=20
>sarsaparilla; sullenly shrugged his shrapnel-seared shoulders;
>suddenly =
>stopped=20
>staring at the stolen stirrup; and sorrowfully saddled the sole =
>surviving=20
>starving stallion...(Jay J. Levine, winner, Western category)...</P>
><P>The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event that asks =
>contestants to=20
>compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel. Entries should
>=
>be=20
>submitted on an index card...the sentence on one side and the =
>entrant&rsquo;s=20
>name, address and phone number on the other. The deadline is April 15
>=
>(chosen=20
>because Americans associate it with another painful submission) so you
>=
>have=20
>plenty of time to hone your entry, should you decide to enter. Send =
>entries to:=20
>Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest</P>
><P>Department of English</P>
><P>San Jose State University</P>
><P>San Jose, CA 95192-0090</P>
><P>Linda Cox</P></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>
>------=_NextPart_000_0017_01BD715A.CED36E00--
>
>
>

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