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Lesson Plans


Fw: OPENING LINES

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
Larry Cox (l_j_cox)
Sun, 26 Apr 1998 21:32:26 -0700


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Subject: OPENING LINES

We all know how important the opening line of a book is and here are a =
few to entertain you from a book called: "It Was a Dark and Stormy =
Night" - the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest - The funniest =
opening sentences from the worse novels never written - compiled by =
Scott Rice...Bulwer-Lytton introduced the notorious opening line =
(mentioned above) in his 1830 novel called Paul Clifford. Here are a few =
more opening lines for you to ponder:

The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted =
sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails---not for the first =
time since the journey began---pondered snidely if this would dissolve =
into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays =
spent with Basil. (Gail Cain, 1983 winner)...The lovely woman-child Kaa =
was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior chief Beast, =
with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the =
strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, "Flick =
your Bic, crisp that chick, and you=92ll feel my steel through your last =
meal" (Steve Garman, 1984 winner)...A rosy dawn crept over the hills =
like the scarlet flush on the bosom of the earth, which shone redolently =
with a pearly musk infusing all nature with its aroma, particularly the =
fringed gentians nodding against the great chimney of Broderick Hall, =
where the master and his household, in the panoply of a grand style long =
forgotten, savored the luxury of their circumstances without any =
knowledge or apprehension that the claret, by foul means unbeknownst to =
any but the wizened brain of the nefarious steward, had been laced with =
poison so offensive it could blacken their countenances by setting sun, =
and, as surely as shadows will fall when the sun rises, unless there is =
nothing to obstruct its rays, when they quaffed it, it did precisely =
that. (Robert W. Shields, winner, Gothic Romance category)...The surface =
of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly textured and green, much =
like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all =
right to buy it. (Scott Davis Jones, winner Sci-Fi category)...Seen =
through the stinking smoke of a smoldering straw-strewn saloon, the =
setting sun looked like a sorrel sack of soggy stogies, as stocky =
Stanford Stubbins, the Stanislaus Stampeder, stiffly staggered from the =
stuffy stagecoach; stonily stood in startled stupefaction; spontaneously =
saluted the still-standing Stars and Stripes; sternly stepped over the =
struggling scorpion; silently slew the slithering sidewinder; sadly =
swallowed the single swig of sickly-sweet sarsaparilla; sullenly =
shrugged his shrapnel-seared shoulders; suddenly stopped staring at the =
stolen stirrup; and sorrowfully saddled the sole surviving starving =
stallion...(Jay J. Levine, winner, Western category)...

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event that asks =
contestants to compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel. =
Entries should be submitted on an index card...the sentence on one side =
and the entrant=92s name, address and phone number on the other. The =
deadline is April 15 (chosen because Americans associate it with another =
painful submission) so you have plenty of time to hone your entry, =
should you decide to enter. Send entries to: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction =
Contest

Department of English

San Jose State University

San Jose, CA 95192-0090

Linda Cox

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Subject: OPENING = LINES

We all know how important the opening line of a book is and here are = a few to=20 entertain you from a book called: "It Was a Dark and Stormy = Night" -=20 the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest - The funniest opening = sentences=20 from the worse novels never written - compiled by Scott = Rice...Bulwer-Lytton=20 introduced the notorious opening line (mentioned above) in his 1830 = novel called=20 Paul Clifford. Here are a few more opening lines for you to = ponder:

The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted = sulkily=20 and, buffing her already impeccable nails---not for the first time since = the=20 journey began---pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette = of minor=20 inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil. (Gail Cain, = 1983=20 winner)...The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the = cruel post=20 of the warrior chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood = at her=20 nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic = Handsomas=20 roared, "Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you’ll feel my = steel=20 through your last meal" (Steve Garman, 1984 winner)...A rosy dawn = crept=20 over the hills like the scarlet flush on the bosom of the earth, which = shone=20 redolently with a pearly musk infusing all nature with its aroma, = particularly=20 the fringed gentians nodding against the great chimney of Broderick = Hall, where=20 the master and his household, in the panoply of a grand style long = forgotten,=20 savored the luxury of their circumstances without any knowledge or = apprehension=20 that the claret, by foul means unbeknownst to any but the wizened brain = of the=20 nefarious steward, had been laced with poison so offensive it could = blacken=20 their countenances by setting sun, and, as surely as shadows will fall = when the=20 sun rises, unless there is nothing to obstruct its rays, when they = quaffed it,=20 it did precisely that. (Robert W. Shields, winner, Gothic Romance=20 category)...The surface of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly = textured=20 and green, much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid = says it=20 is all right to buy it. (Scott Davis Jones, winner Sci-Fi = category)...Seen=20 through the stinking smoke of a smoldering straw-strewn saloon, the = setting sun=20 looked like a sorrel sack of soggy stogies, as stocky Stanford Stubbins, = the=20 Stanislaus Stampeder, stiffly staggered from the stuffy stagecoach; = stonily=20 stood in startled stupefaction; spontaneously saluted the still-standing = Stars=20 and Stripes; sternly stepped over the struggling scorpion; silently slew = the=20 slithering sidewinder; sadly swallowed the single swig of sickly-sweet=20 sarsaparilla; sullenly shrugged his shrapnel-seared shoulders; suddenly = stopped=20 staring at the stolen stirrup; and sorrowfully saddled the sole = surviving=20 starving stallion...(Jay J. Levine, winner, Western category)...

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual event that asks = contestants to=20 compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel. Entries should = be=20 submitted on an index card...the sentence on one side and the = entrant’s=20 name, address and phone number on the other. The deadline is April 15 = (chosen=20 because Americans associate it with another painful submission) so you = have=20 plenty of time to hone your entry, should you decide to enter. Send = entries to:=20 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Department of English

San Jose State University

San Jose, CA 95192-0090

Linda Cox

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  • Maybe reply: elwood p dowd: "Re: Fw: OPENING LINES"