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Lesson Plans


Ridiculious Attachment, Should we Open or Make Rude return to the sender? ( Re: Fw: Titanic rewritte

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
sunnyfield (sunnyfield)
Wed, 22 Apr 1998 22:08:37 -0700


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First Message To Dear Sandra Hildreth

I appreciated your message. I think you are a nice and intelligent wisdom
although I do not know your age. My name is Shiny, a gifted artist who got
rude
response from Maahmaah ( someone's handle ), because of my inncent e-mail.
Thank you for your comfortable message on April 22, 1:13 pm. I wonder why
certain people pretend they were right, but they also do something
very bed to hurt innocent or even nice people.

I studied Socialogy and Psychology when I was in college. I worked as a
social worker long time ago. I believe your Cultural & Social Researches
must be helpful to mental illness. I learned a lot from my real life, and
created art theory based on humanities and social study, too. Please fell
free to e-mail me, because we both got specific missions. Most wise people
learned something from their enemies. Good luck with your study. With my
best wishes.

Second to Rude Maahmaah:

I got a proof which expressed who is a real ruder behind this group.

You sent me a e-mail which almost beat me away from this nice group, because
of your over-reacting and impolitic reply! But, Listen! You mentioned that
you knew the rule which is Not to email any Attatchment through this
service. You had known the rule before I did, because you joined this group
earlier than me..... It is Ridiculous, How COME YOU STILL SENDING YOUR
ATTACHMENT TO MY PC? Do you alway doing something that you know it is wrong
all the time. I will Never Never down load your steal, BECAUSE YOUR MAIL
WILL BE THE VIRUS TO ALL MEMBERS' COMPUTER. Before disscussing something
nonsense, we should learn how to treat people right! What do you think of
my reaction? I just want to give a advice.

-----Original Message-----
From: Maahmaah <Maahmaah>
To: lee-jo <lee-jo>; JimS4623
<JimS4623>; alpo <alpo>; jdandwater
<jdandwater>; JSS24601 <JSS24601>;
apearce <apearce>; WOZING <WOZING>;
artsednet.edu <artsednet.edu>
Date: Wednesday, April 22, 1998 11:47 AM
Subject: Fwd: Titanic rewritten

>I hope this might lighten things up for everybody....or at least make you
>smile a bit.
>

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From: DEgreen <DEgreen>
Return-path: <DEgreen>
Subject: Titanic rewritten
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 12:09:35 EDT
Organization: AOL (http://www.aol.com)
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This was sent to me by a friend in Detroit. I thought it was hysterical and
hope you will, too...especially if you've seen "Titanic"...

Enjoy!

Ellen

>---------------------------------------------------------------
>
>(Scene 1)
>
>KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn't it?
>
>KATE'S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked
> for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am
> certain he will amount to nothing.
>
>KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our '90s
> audience, because of course Picasso later
> amounted to quite a bit, after this boat sank.
>
>LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have
> seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the
> worship of me. You are very pretty.
>
>KATE: Thank you. So are you.
>
>LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going
> to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that
> women will keep coming back again and again to
> see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be
> soaking wet.
>
>KATE: While you're doing that, I will concentrate on
> standing here and looking pretty, to keep the
> men in the audience interested until the boat
> sinks and people start dying.
>
>WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even
> though you saved my fiancee's life. I am going
> to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because
> you're poor, and then I'll probably be
> physically abusive to my fiancee, and then, just
> to make sure the audience really hates me, and
> to make sure my character is entirely
> one-dimensional, perhaps I'll throw an elderly
> person into the water.
>
>AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people
> have at least a few admirable qualities, we have
> not been shown any of yours, and plus, you're
> trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so
> therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though
> technically it is Leonardo who is coming between
> you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than
> you, even though he is only 13, so we are on his
> side. Boo!)
>
>(Scene 2)
>
>LEONARDO: I'm glad we snuck away like this so that you
> could cheat on your fiance.
>
>KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and
> have made a commitment to marry him, that is no
> reason why you and I cannot climb into the
> backseat of a car and steam up the windows
> together. The fact that I am the heroine of the
> movie will no doubt help the cattle-like
> audience forgive me of this, though they would
> probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were
> to do the same thing to me.
>
>AUDIENCE: Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo!
>
>LEONARDO: I agree. First I would like to draw you, though,
> so of course you will have to take off all your
> clothes.
>
>KATE: But can a movie with five minutes of continuous
> nudity be at all successful in, say, Provo,
> Utah, where the audiences might not stand for
> that sort of thing?
>
>LEONARDO: I would be willing to bet that for the first
> three weeks the film is in release, every single
> showing at Wynnsong Theater in Provo will sell
> out.
>
>NARRATOR: According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that
> is exactly what happened.
>
>KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the
> floor)
>
>(Scene 3)
>
>FIRST MATE: Captain, we're about to hit an iceberg.
>
>CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink.
> (sound of drinking)
>
>ICEBERG: (hits boat)
>
>FIRST MATE: That can't be good.
>
>CAPTAIN: Bottoms up!
>
>AUDIENCE: (silence)
>
>FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools.
>
>AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where's Leonardo?
>
>(Scene 4)
>
>LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking.
>
>KATE: That is terrible.
>
>LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more
> immoral-but-justified behavior?
>
>KATE: Certainly.
>
>WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me, I --
>
>AUDIENCE: Boo! Boo!
>
>WEASELLY FIANCE: (aside) I'm getting the raw end of the deal
> here. (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement
> my morally-dubious-yet-somehow-less-annoying-
> than-you personality, I am going to handcuff you
> to this pipe, here in a room that will soon be
> filling with water, due to the fact that we are
> sinking, which I believe has been mentioned
> previously.
>
>LEONARDO: Why don't you just shoot me?
>
>WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn't be able to escape and
> save Kate from me. Of course, you're going to
> die anyway--
>
>AUDIENCE: Don't spoil it for us! Boo!
>
>LEONARDO: He's right, though. I am doomed.
>
>AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he's doomed.
>
>WEASELLY FIANCE: I hate you people.
>
>(Scene 5)
>
>150-YEAR-OLD KATE: And that's when Leonardo rescued me from my evil
> fiance and helped me float on a board in the
> water. Of course, if it hadn't been for having
> to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual
> lifeboat, and not frozen my legs nearly off.
> Anyway, he's pretty much dead now, and I'm well
> over a thousand years old, and who's making my
> supper? I need a bath. Turn down that Enya
> music, it's making my ears hurt. You kids
> today, with your loud music. Why, when I was --
> hey! Don't you walk away from me, Mr.
> Snooty-Patootie! I'd turn you over my knee, if
> I had one. I'll beat you in the head with this
> huge diamond! Come back here!
>
>(Fade to black; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song.)
>
>MMMOooooooo moooo great mooooooooviiieeeee.!! take my money let me see
>it again.!!! mooooooo.!!!!
>
>--
>Nix Zeitgeist - Detroit, Michigan
>"What fun to get angry." -Leonard Nimoy, _Star Trek Movie Memories_

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