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Lesson Plans

The "common-sense-challenged"

[ Thread ][ Subject ][ Author ][ Date ]
Maahmaah (Maahmaah)
Thu, 16 Apr 1998 18:01:37 EDT

I don't know if these are real or made up--but they are funny enough to pass

News Of The Stupid...

Wichita, Kansas - Police arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.

Johannesburg, South Africa - A man shot his 49-year-old friend in the
face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans
off each other's head.

Somewhere - A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety
record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety
goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's
depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five
workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening
room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after
he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

Chico, California - The City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,
setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

Sweden - Business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book
about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be
copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds
when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Washington D.C. - A convict broke out of jail, then a few days later
accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went
out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged.
Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to
the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Radnor, Pennsylvania - Police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect

Ionia, Michigan - When two service station attendants refused to hand
over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the
police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was

Los Angeles, California - A man who later said he was "tired of
walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an
officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Stamford, Connecticut - Dialing the wrong number landed Archie Tarantino
in jail. While trying to dial a drug dealer's pager one morning, Archie
instead beeped a police officer, who took an order for two bags of
heroin. Stamford Officer Colin Norris called state police officer James
McAuliffe, who called Tarantino back. Police arrested Tarantino, 35,
after allegedly finding a $20 bag of heroin in his van. He was charged
with drug possession.