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Re: I'd love you to share......

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From: Jane Altshuler (jane_at_TeacherArtExchange)
Date: Tue Apr 30 2002 - 22:04:53 PDT


Sandy - do you think sometimes we fill up our lives with all this stuff
to avoid doing
the artwork? Sometimes I wonder why I keep taking on so much stuff and
cluttering up my
life, but I must have some need to do it. I really envy people who make
the time to put
in to my artwork, but I could do it if I were determined enough,
couldn't I?

I certainly have more financial security than I did 15 years ago, so why
can't I figure
out how to fit this in. I guess this is where the guilt comes in - I
blame myself for
not having the determination or wisely spending my time.

This time on this list serv, for example. But I value all these ideas
and being able to
share with so many really remarkable people, so I do this than rather
than take out all
my watercolors, set up my painting stuff, clear the table off (we
haven't eaten a meal
without a pile of my clutter on the table for weeks.)....

I have this beautiful space at work to make art - every facility and
supply possible,
yet when I have a free block I futz around in my classroom cleaning up
or organizing,
talking to a colleague, checking email. I could find some time there,
too, if I was
determined.

All these other activities have value, but I still feel guilt about what
I'm not doing.
There was a comedian Steven Wright I think, who said "You can't have
everything - where
would you put it." I guess for now all my other work has more value to
me than my
artwork I should stop beating myself up about it, but I can't. So I've
got guilt.
Jane

sbacon wrote:

> Feeling guilt for not doing artwork during my freetime shares space on that same
> Road of Good Intentions that is the home of, "I need...to send that info back to
> Sky, to get all those projects and lessons plans out of piles and into folders, to
> take time out and write notes or e-mails to all my old friends and reconnect, need
> to finish those memory books for my kids before their stuff is lost or brittle from
> age, to finish writing the cookbook and children's books I started so long ago, to
> finish decorating my house and unpack the boxes in the basement from our move three
> years ago...GUILT?!

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