I know that sometimes parents can feel desperate to stave their child's
pain, which is what this sounds like:::::
I would thank the parent for her interest in boosting her child esteem, tell
her that her child will probably get some award (if you do that within your
own art classes), but that the 8th grade award must go to someone who
exemplifies "blah blah blah" ... maybe ask her if there is anything else
you can do to help her daughter with art --- like meet with the girl to
discuss her goals for art, career possibilities, what track to take in high
school to fully develop her art ability, and so on... maybe recommend a
private instructor or something for the summer in some particular area that
the girl shows talent in. In other words, give the mother your full
attention and offer to give her daughter your attention as well.
Aside, I think if she were to ask her daughter who SHOULD receive the 8th
grade art award, the daughter would not suggest herself ... but would
suggest someone that actually deserves it. Kids are pretty tuned in about
this stuff.
I had a friend email her high school freshman daughter's drama teacher and
ask her to give this high school daughter a role in the school play... a
musical... because it would be a boost for the girl who had never shown any
interest in drama before -- only in athletics. This was after tryouts and
the girl had not made the first cut. And, yes, the girl was very
disappointed (she had never really NOT gotten something she had gone for
before) ... but there were so many seniors and juniors who had been trying
out year after year, working in drama hoping to get parts, and so on. So...
sometimes parents are desperate to help their children avoid pain.
> I am wondering why a parent would do this? Perhaps have a conversation with
> the parent to see where she is coming from. Strange to be sure. But there
> might be more there than meets the eye. I would say this sounds more like a
> desperate parent than a pushy one. (Unless you know differently) And in
> these times, with children so lost...it seems parents will do anything
> (except change themselves) to "fix" their children.
